As my Vegan Experiment comes to an end and I start to reintroduce foods, what I had hoped would happen is actually happening! I am starting to question What I want, Why I want it, and Do I really want it or do I just want it because I can, and because I had wanted it either before this experiment started or during the experiment.

Throughout this month I have wanted everything, even the things I don’t normally eat and I figured out that I wanted those things because they were magically taken off my options list. Now that I’m looking to eat those foods again, I’m questioning if I actually really do want to reintroduce certain foods, just because I can.

At Whole Foods over the weekend I found myself confused about what to buy; why did I want a salad with egg and cheese? Was that what my body was really asking for or was I tempted by the option of having it? Would it make me feel good after eating it, or would it just make my tastebuds happy? I bought the eggs, but abstained from the cheese; I have yet to do anything with the eggs.

I also purchased two amazing milk chocolate bars, that are currently sitting, unopened, in my fridge… Prior to this month, I had gotten into a habit of eating A LOT of chocolate, consistently; after almost 31 days of (mostly) avoiding chocolate, my habit feels broken. And I’m calling it a habit, because eating chocolate wasn’t for enjoyment, it was because it was there and I wanted it. To be honest, I’m actually scared to break that barrier and have a piece of chocolate.

Overall the experiment has actually been what I needed: insight into my habits and an opportunity to break some of those habits. It also provided me with a better understanding of why diets fail and reaffirmed my belief that the best way to “diet” is to create small, sustainable lifestyle changes that focus on adding instead of taking away.

I am excited to eat certain foods again, but I will eat those foods with more awareness; something I’m hoping will last as this experiment fades in my memory. Who knows, I may pick it back up again in the future, but for now, I’m happy to remove the label! First thing on my list? Salmon! I don’t know if I’ve ever craved it as much as I have for this past month.